I must be speaking Farsi...that's the only explanation

I am convinced I must consistently be speaking a foreign language so foreign to my boys that is why they don't understand me.

Consistently, my youngest feels the need to jump on the sofa. I keep it simple, "no jumping on the sofa". It must be coming out in some foreign language because he still doesn't get it.

Today, our second snow day was the worst for my six year old. He was bored (that is the only other plausible explanation) and I told him to "leave his brothers alone" and "not to touch his brothers". He told me he understood. He even nodded, 'yes' and said that he understood what I said. I must be speaking Farsi because he didn't understand. As a result, his terribly expensive glasses got broken because he was 'teasing' oldest and decided to keep his favorite Dash hat. As a result, oldest pulled his glasses down and bent them. With him, I do see military school in his future if he doesn't change his attitude. I thought I was at least 6 years away from the 'teenage attitude'.

If anyone can teach me plain English, that would be helpful so they could understand.