John Travolta

I know I wasn't going to get 'political' with this blog....sometimes, it just happens. It's more of me working through something, trying to figure out how to deal, as they say.

Last week, John Travolta was testifying in the extortion case down in the Bahamas. He testified that his son had autism. This was an interesting factoid in my world. First and foremost, my heart breaks for John. I feel that anytime a parent has to 'bury' their child, it is a horrible day. A friend of mine had to do that a year ago and I see the pain in her eyes and her daughter lived less than a day. I can only imagine if your child is older.

Jett Travolta was 16 years old when he died. He suffered from seizures (many times a week and many at a time). This is very common with children with autism. Fortunately, Oldest doesn't do that. So, Jett had medical issues, in addition to (it turns out) profound autism. I can't even begin to imagine, first of all. I remember when Oldest first lost his few words he had and I was determined to have him tell me (even if he didn't understand) that "I love you". I remember that was my project. There was no way that that was not going to happen. I know a lot of families who live with this reality, and, again, my heart breaks for them. I have no idea what that is like.

Back to Jett....throughout his life, John and Kelly had denied that Jett had autism. First of all, Jett was 16....he grew up in a time different than it is today. When Oldest was diagnosed at 3 (6 years ago), there were one in 500 kids afflicted with autism. Now, it is one in 94 boys; on in 150 children. I remember when the speech therapist first told me (at our first meeting, mind you) that Oldest had autism, I came home white as a ghost. I remember my mom asking me, "what is wrong?" To me, if you had autism, you were institutionalized, you were in a corner, banging your head. That is not my reality. So, times were different. Thanks to Bill and Suzanne Wright, founders of Autism Speaks, autism is more accepted....there is more knowledge out there.

Also, in scientology (from what I understand), autism is not accepted as a 'disease", even though it is a 'neurological-developmental delay". Yes, I can say that whole mouthful in two seconds flat. I like to think that Oldest 'thinks differently'....his neurons are just not connected the way the 'average' person is connected. Oldest possesses so many things that the 'average' person cannot. I like to think he just has a different way of thinking. From what I understand, scientologists can get medical attention (as in go to a General Practioner), but NOT a psychiatrist, which is who typically diagnoses someone with autism. So, the Travoltas would have to go against their 'religion' in order to help Jett. And, they did.....so I have been told.

They were doing everything correct....being amazing parents, getting him therapies, putting their children first, etc. The picture that always flashes through my mind is the one of John resting on Jett's chest. There is such love in that picture. You can tell John adores Jett. It's not one of those 'fakey' pictures. There is pure love in that picture...something that is rare and something that is pure.

My hope is that the Travoltas channel some of their grief and help others. We all do that as parents of either a special needs child or a child with a disease. We channel our grief for the betterment of others. John has so much compassion to give. It was evident in that picture.

I know others who have 'come out' and done good things for the autism community like Holly Robinson Peete, Gary Cole, Toni Braxton and, yes, even Jenny McCarthy (yes, even she has done good for the autism community). All of these 'celebrities' have a chance to do something good and help others, even in a small way. We all do that. I do what I do for those who come after me....just as the Down's community did a lot before the autism community. We all have a responsibility as a parent to help the next generation and to make this world a better place. We owe that to our children and the children after us.